I heard this on the Chris Williamson podcast a couple of months ago:

“Extreme crushes are misplaced ambitions”

And the sentence wouldn´t let me go.

Last Saturday, I was at a café journaling, and it popped up again.

Then I started writing down a person I’ve had a crush on and started thinking about his life…

lifestyle…

and routine…

The more I wrote, the more I realized:

“Wow, I don’t want him. I want his life.”

This made me realize that I wanted him because I thought that would give me his life.

In addition to that, I asked my self

“What do I know about him as a partner?”

And realized...

Nothing.

I have no idea how he communicates, how he treats his partner when he’s tired or angry, or how he wants to be treated.

Now, why write about this in my newsletter?

Because I dare you to start looking at your extreme crushes.

Not the ones you’ve thought about once or twice, but the ones you can’t seem to let go of.

And then realize that you might actually not want this person at all, but the life you assume they can give you.

And then instead of trying to get this person to get their life...

How about creating that life yourself?

The moment this clicked for me, I felt such a release.

I knew what I wanted, and I stopped preventing myself from getting it by having a gatekeeper stand between me and it.

Hope this was useful in your life.

Lastly, I do appreciate you being here.

I think I’ve been sending these emails for more than six months now (maybe even a year soon?), and whether you’re new or one of the OGs, it means a lot to me that you take the time to stop and reflect on life with me.

Sara <3